Insult the person above you

What about a nice desert known as 'Gusset Russet' Take a rough skinned medium sized russet apple place it comfortably in the crutch centre of the wearers gusset. Leave it in place for at least three days then serve it warm with an ample covering of its own deep brown sauce.

Are you sure you weren't a chef in a previous life Dave?

Fuck me, you lot are mental!

Do you think I should open a restaurant then J? You really do like my recipes then? I'm so proud.

Perhaps 'The Gusset Grove' in Gay street would be an appropriate name for the establishment.

Unless that is, someone knows better!

'Nouvelle Gusset' is my own recipe. It just involves carefully removing the skid-mark, and serving it on a warmed plate with a sprig of parsley. Mmmm.

That really is fucking disgusting. I hate parsley

Wot about 'Sage & Gusset' stuffing? Obviously rammed in the rear end of the gusset with a tightly balled fist.

I am just working on the ultimate main course. Goosed Gusset.

Served with a side order of camel hoof and some clodge!

Fillet of Gusset, thinly sliced and presented on a bed of fresh comfrey.

Olde English Gusset Posset - Fermented nob-cheese from Tour de France cyclists, snatched as they pass, then soaked in sweat for 21 days before straining through an old woman's gusset to separate the solids. Downed in one, after the ceremonial toast of "HER MAJESTY!"

Gusset Giblets - a must for creating stock for a rich meaty gravy, usually a distended uterus or collapsed cervix, this delicacy is great when chopped and sauteed in a little garlic butter then added to a pan of seasonal vegetables to create the perfect accompaniment to your pork.

La La wrote:

Gusset Giblets - a must for creating stock for a rich meaty gravy, usually a distended uterus or collapsed cervix, this delicacy is great when chopped and sauteed in a little garlic butter then added to a pan of seasonal vegetables to create the perfect accompaniment to your pork.

Stop your making me hungry.

Waitrose do an 'Aunt Bessie's Gusset', for busy working mums. Big enough for a hungry family of 8.

Has anyone tried a bag of "Gusset Scratchings"? Guaranteed to be nuts free and heavily battered as they are collected from lithe virgins after being laid out by shield and baton wielding unleashed Met Pigs during London demos.

Dave Larkhall wrote:

Has anyone tried a bag of "Gusset Scratchings"? Guaranteed to be nuts free and heavily battered as they are collected from lithe virgins after being laid out by shield and baton wielding unleashed Met Pigs during London demos.

PHEW! You gave me a hell of a shock there, Dave. In the light of the other thread, I thought you said 'little', but it turned it to be 'lithe'. I couldn't go through another night like last night again. As for the rest of it, I'm not getting involved...

Never mind Tom. Have an extra glass or three tonite. Help you relax and sleep.

As for the rest of it (whatever that is), go on get involved. You're really good when you're angry.

Yeah, he goes a bit mental and throws all his toys out of the pram doesn't he?

You go Tom!!

...a bit more mental

Who? Me or Tom? Do you want a fight, J?

I meant Tom, but if the cap fits.....

Come on then... It's fisticuffs at dawn then, is it?

Come off Am. That's Justice you're addressing. More like powder puffs at say about eleven thirty.

That's a bit early for my liking Dave - I'm a goff - so never about before it gets dark.

Now where's my Bauhaus (the band) album?

Well I'm not fighting Tom, he'd probably have some wood.