easily offended? sod off then

i was wondering if it is too early for Haiti jokes......
.......

Spoiler:

two planes full of people have have taken off from John Lennon Airport in Liverpool bound for Haiti,

Spoiler:

RB you're incorrigible



Did I spell that right?

I see they are asking for stonemasons to go out.

Someone at my work (now, don't laugh) thinks that my boss sends her golden labrador out to disaster areas to dig people out of rubble. She knows it's true because she's seen the dog on telly!!!!

I thought i saw a couple of dogs from Glastonbury on there tonight as well.

Totenham football club have just had 10,000, of their football kits for the Hiatians to wear returned unused
a spokesman said
We mayby poor, we mayby homeless and starving,
But We still have our dignity

I see Barret Homes are sending out four thousand tee shirts too.

rugbyboy wrote:

Totenham football club have just had 10,000, of their football kits for the Hiatians to wear returned unused
a spokesman said
We mayby poor, we mayby homeless and starving,
But We still have our dignity

nice one, but i would prefer if it were west brom tops.

rugbyboy wrote:

West Bromich Albion football club have just had 10,000, of their football kits for the Hiatians to wear returned unused
a spokesman said
We mayby poor, we mayby homeless and starving,
But We still have our dignity

your wish!

I think the most worrying thing is that the scientologists are on their way to convert people! And sadly, that's not even a joke.

rugbyboy wrote:

rugbyboy wrote:

West Bromich Albion football club have just had 10,000, of their football kits for the Hiatians to wear returned unused
a spokesman said
We mayby poor, we mayby homeless and starving,
But We still have our dignity

your wish!

Thanks R.B.

taffy goes to the doctor complaining of a bad back,
"how did you do it ask's the Doctor?
well,its a bit embassing see, i was having sex doggie style with my girlfriend see, and my back went see, and now i cant do doggie style as it hurts see, [welsh accent]
well said the Doctor why don't you do it in the missonary position with her on top for a while then?
Well see, i tried that but the sheep keeps licking my face"

Wayne Bridge sent his wife a replica of his cock made from Cadbury's chocolate
she said it was nice, but she prefers Terry's

rugbyboy wrote:

Wayne Bridge sent his wife a replica of his cock made from Cadbury's chocolate
she said it was nice, but she prefers Terry's

Chocolate orange?

An old Pilot sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.

As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him..

She turned to the pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'



He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying biplanes, Cubs, Aeronca's,

Neiuports, flew in WWII in a B-29, and later in the Korean conflict,

taught 50 people to fly and gave rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot.'


She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women.

As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women.

When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV,

I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'


The two sat sipping in silence.


A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot

and asked: "are you a real pilot?"


He replied, 'I always thought I was, but 10 minutes ago I just found out I'm a lesbian.'

This math test can predict your favorite all-time most-watched film.
Mine was Star Wars.
Try it without looking at the answers. It's easy and really
works:

Pick a number from 1 - 9.
Multiply by 3.
Add 3.
Multiply that by 3.
Add those two digits together.

Use that number to find your all time favourite movie in the
list below:

Spoiler:

Should have seen that one coming!!! lol!

That realy is my favourite film too. How did you know?!

i went to the Doctor to have my Prostate checked, he told me to take my trousers and pant's down and bend over the table, as he inserted his gloved finger he said
" don't worry , it's quite normal to get an erection when doing this"
But i dont have an erection Doctor i cried
"I Do , he said!

Last week I checked into my hotel and was a bit lonely.

I thought, I'll call one of those girls you see advertised in phone books like escorts and such.

I picked up the phone book and found an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo.

She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs..... well, you get the picture!

I figured, what the heck, give her a call.

"Hello," the woman says . Gordon Brown, she sounded sexy.

Afraid I would lose my nerve if I hesitated I rushed right in. "Hi, I hear you give a great massage and 'Id like you to come to my room and give me one.

No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex.

I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now.

Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks.

We'll go hot and heavy all night; tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything!

Now, how does that sound?"

"That sounds fantastic," she says, "but you need to press 9 for an outside line."

ha ha

Three guys, one Navy, one Army and one Royal Marine are taking the test to join the SAS. They have all passed the mental and physical sections and are down to the final interview.

Guy from the Navy walks in to be confronted by the SAS Head man who gives him a gun and says, "There are 6 bullets in that, your wife is upstairs, go up and kill her".

The guy disappears but comes back 2 minutes later to say,

"Sorry I really want to be in the SAS but she's my wife and I love her"

"Sorry" says Head man,"But if you can't take orders, we don't want you"

Guy from Army walks in and the same thing happens, he gets the gun and is told to go upstairs and kill his wife, but also can't do it, so is told to thin out.

The Marine walks in and is given the gun. Off he goes and suddenly 6 shots ring out from upstairs, followed by an almighty commotion, and 10 minutes later he walks back into the room drenched in sweat.

He looks at the Head man and chucks the gun at him saying, "The gun had blanks in it, I had to strangle the bitch!!!"

A man was sitting on the sofa watching TV when he heard his wife's voice from the kitchen:
"What would you like for dinner, Love? Chicken, beef or lamb?"

He said: "Thank you. I'll have chicken."

She said: "Fuck You. You're having soup. I was talking to the dog............."