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rugbyboy

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PostSubject: easily offended? sod off then   Sat Jan 16, 2010 3:13 am

i was wondering if it is too early for Haiti jokes......
.......
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Amulet

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PostSubject: Re: easily offended? sod off then   Sat Jan 16, 2010 6:30 pm

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rugbyboy

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PostSubject: Re: easily offended? sod off then   Tue Jan 19, 2010 10:44 pm

two planes full of people have have taken off from John Lennon Airport in Liverpool bound for Haiti,
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TheCat
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PostSubject: Re: easily offended? sod off then   Wed Jan 20, 2010 12:01 am

RB you're incorrigible



Did I spell that right?

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DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.
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lucifer

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PostSubject: Re: easily offended? sod off then   Wed Jan 20, 2010 12:15 am

I see they are asking for stonemasons to go out.
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TheCat
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PostSubject: Re: easily offended? sod off then   Wed Jan 20, 2010 12:21 am

Someone at my work (now, don't laugh) thinks that my boss sends her golden labrador out to disaster areas to dig people out of rubble. She knows it's true because she's seen the dog on telly!!!!

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lucifer

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PostSubject: Re: easily offended? sod off then   Wed Jan 20, 2010 12:24 am

I thought i saw a couple of dogs from Glastonbury on there tonight as well.
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rugbyboy

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PostSubject: Re: easily offended? sod off then   Fri Jan 22, 2010 3:59 pm

Totenham football club have just had 10,000, of their football kits for the Hiatians to wear returned unused
a spokesman said
We mayby poor, we mayby homeless and starving,
But We still have our dignity


Last edited by rugbyboy on Sat Jan 23, 2010 1:58 am; edited 3 times in total
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lucifer

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PostSubject: Re: easily offended? sod off then   Fri Jan 22, 2010 11:01 pm

I see Barret Homes are sending out four thousand tee shirts too.
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The-duke66

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PostSubject: Re: easily offended? sod off then   Sat Jan 23, 2010 12:58 am

rugbyboy wrote:
Totenham football club have just had 10,000, of their football kits for the Hiatians to wear returned unused
a spokesman said
We mayby poor, we mayby homeless and starving,
But We still have our dignity
lol! nice one, but i would prefer if it were west brom tops.
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rugbyboy

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PostSubject: Re: easily offended? sod off then   Sat Jan 23, 2010 1:59 am

rugbyboy wrote:
West Bromich Albion football club have just had 10,000, of their football kits for the Hiatians to wear returned unused
a spokesman said
We mayby poor, we mayby homeless and starving,
But We still have our dignity

your wish!
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Amulet

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PostSubject: Re: easily offended? sod off then   Sat Jan 23, 2010 6:34 pm

I think the most worrying thing is that the scientologists are on their way to convert people! And sadly, that's not even a joke.
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The-duke66

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PostSubject: Re: easily offended? sod off then   Sun Jan 24, 2010 12:54 pm

rugbyboy wrote:
rugbyboy wrote:
West Bromich Albion football club have just had 10,000, of their football kits for the Hiatians to wear returned unused
a spokesman said
We mayby poor, we mayby homeless and starving,
But We still have our dignity

your wish!

Thanks R.B. cheers
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rugbyboy

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PostSubject: Re: easily offended? sod off then   Thu Jan 28, 2010 9:20 pm

taffy goes to the doctor complaining of a bad back,
"how did you do it ask's the Doctor?
well,its a bit embassing see, i was having sex doggie style with my girlfriend see, and my back went see, and now i cant do doggie style as it hurts see, [welsh accent]
well said the Doctor why don't you do it in the missonary position with her on top for a while then?
Well see, i tried that but the sheep keeps licking my face"
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rugbyboy

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PostSubject: Re: easily offended? sod off then   Mon Feb 01, 2010 6:43 pm

Wayne Bridge sent his wife a replica of his cock made from Cadbury's chocolate
she said it was nice, but she prefers Terry's
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Amulet

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PostSubject: Re: easily offended? sod off then   Wed Feb 03, 2010 10:49 am

rugbyboy wrote:
Wayne Bridge sent his wife a replica of his cock made from Cadbury's chocolate
she said it was nice, but she prefers Terry's

Chocolate orange?
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rugbyboy

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PostSubject: Re: easily offended? sod off then   Wed Feb 03, 2010 7:48 pm

An old Pilot sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.

As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him..

She turned to the pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'



He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying biplanes, Cubs, Aeronca's,

Neiuports, flew in WWII in a B-29, and later in the Korean conflict,

taught 50 people to fly and gave rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot.'


She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women.

As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women.

When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV,

I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'


The two sat sipping in silence.


A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot

and asked: "are you a real pilot?"


He replied, 'I always thought I was, but 10 minutes ago I just found out I'm a lesbian.'
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rugbyboy

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PostSubject: Re: easily offended? sod off then   Thu Feb 04, 2010 9:36 pm

This math test can predict your favorite all-time most-watched film.
Mine was Star Wars.
Try it without looking at the answers. It's easy and really
works:

Pick a number from 1 - 9.
Multiply by 3.
Add 3.
Multiply that by 3.
Add those two digits together.

Use that number to find your all time favourite movie in the
list below:

Spoiler:
 
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gallega100

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PostSubject: Re: easily offended? sod off then   Fri Feb 05, 2010 3:02 am

Should have seen that one coming!!! lol!
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Amulet

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PostSubject: Re: easily offended? sod off then   Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:39 pm

That realy is my favourite film too. How did you know?!
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rugbyboy

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PostSubject: Re: easily offended? sod off then   Thu Feb 11, 2010 7:31 pm

i went to the Doctor to have my Prostate checked, he told me to take my trousers and pant's down and bend over the table, as he inserted his gloved finger he said
" don't worry , it's quite normal to get an erection when doing this"
But i dont have an erection Doctor i cried
"I Do , he said!
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rugbyboy

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PostSubject: Re: easily offended? sod off then   Thu Feb 25, 2010 10:19 pm

Last week I checked into my hotel and was a bit lonely.

I thought, I'll call one of those girls you see advertised in phone books like escorts and such.

I picked up the phone book and found an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo.

She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs..... well, you get the picture!

I figured, what the heck, give her a call.

"Hello," the woman says . Gordon Brown, she sounded sexy.

Afraid I would lose my nerve if I hesitated I rushed right in. "Hi, I hear you give a great massage and 'Id like you to come to my room and give me one.

No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex.

I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now.

Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks.

We'll go hot and heavy all night; tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything!

Now, how does that sound?"

"That sounds fantastic," she says, "but you need to press 9 for an outside line."
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The-duke66

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PostSubject: Re: easily offended? sod off then   Fri Feb 26, 2010 9:10 am

affraid ha ha
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The-duke66

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PostSubject: Re: easily offended? sod off then   Fri Feb 26, 2010 9:15 am

Three guys, one Navy, one Army and one Royal Marine are taking the test to join the SAS. They have all passed the mental and physical sections and are down to the final interview.

Guy from the Navy walks in to be confronted by the SAS Head man who gives him a gun and says, "There are 6 bullets in that, your wife is upstairs, go up and kill her".

The guy disappears but comes back 2 minutes later to say,

"Sorry I really want to be in the SAS but she's my wife and I love her"

"Sorry" says Head man,"But if you can't take orders, we don't want you"

Guy from Army walks in and the same thing happens, he gets the gun and is told to go upstairs and kill his wife, but also can't do it, so is told to thin out.

The Marine walks in and is given the gun. Off he goes and suddenly 6 shots ring out from upstairs, followed by an almighty commotion, and 10 minutes later he walks back into the room drenched in sweat.

He looks at the Head man and chucks the gun at him saying, "The gun had blanks in it, I had to strangle the bitch!!!"
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Dave Larkhall

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PostSubject: Re: easily offended? sod off then   Fri Feb 26, 2010 11:42 pm

A man was sitting on the sofa watching TV when he heard his wife's voice from the kitchen:
"What would you like for dinner, Love? Chicken, beef or lamb?"

He said: "Thank you. I'll have chicken."

She said: "Fuck You. You're having soup. I was talking to the dog............."
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