Not a Wass on but a What could be on.

I bet she's a hard taskmaster too, poor Sissy.

She can't do a thing right. Shrinks everything, puts Lurex through a hot wash. You just can't get the staff these days.

Poor cow. J, I hope you don't give her too much of a hard time at home

That's the least of her worries. I tell her the penis shaped protusion in her knickers is just a prolapsed vagina and that seems to cheer her up.

Take them off, poor girl is going to get confused

She's confused enough already - with her badly wired genitals she doesn't know if she's coming or going.

Justice wrote:

That's the least of her worries. I tell her the penis shaped protusion in her knickers is just a prolapsed vagina and that seems to cheer her up.

How do you explain the penis-shaped lump in the back of her knickers?

Prolapsed anus to match.

Anyway - back on topic - I think a Christmastime meet-up would be great! Tell me where and when and I'll be there. Although, I won't recognise anyone as I've never met any of you. Will I have to wear a flower in my lapel and carry a copy of the times under my arm?

The last time I met a drug-dealer who was standing in for the main man, I had never met him before. He said - on the phone - "I'll be wearing a pink carnation, and I'll have a copy of the Times under my arm". I said, "Really?" He said, "NO, of course not. I just look like a drug-dealer!" And he did. Those days are behind me now, I hasten to add....

And I hasten to add that I do NOT look like a drug dealer!!

Your avatar does.

Strange women meeting blokes they've never met and drug dealers, ....................yahooooo! mulitple arrests my sarge will be happy, where are we meeting boys and girls??

It's ironic you should say that, Mr Plod. I belong to a (perfectly legal, smooth-bore) gun club, and one of our less savvy members tried to introduce a serving policeman into the club. I asked why there were so many (secret) objections, but in the light of what you say above, I'm beginning to understand! My reasoning was that it would be good to have a copper in the club - at least that way the force would come to understand the difference between legally held, sporting firearms, and the sort of 9 mm semi-auto pistol that anyone can procure for about £200 down the pub - including about 50 rounds - in around 24 hours.

Do you know Brian Perkins from Bristol? I hear he's not too good. A very nice man too.

P.S. It's just occurred to me - if you've been on the job for 16 years, how come you are still answerable to a sargeant? I reckon you're a Community Support officer with mental health problems.

Britplod wrote:

Strange women meeting blokes they've never met and drug dealers, ....................yahooooo! mulitple arrests my sarge will be happy, where are we meeting boys and girls??

Are you going to be taking down their particulars?

Amulet wrote:

Britplod wrote:

Strange women meeting blokes they've never met and drug dealers, ....................yahooooo! mulitple arrests my sarge will be happy, where are we meeting boys and girls??

Are you going to be taking down their particulars?

Ooooh I've gone all unnecessary!

I thought you would enjoy that Cat. This forum meeting is sounding better all the time!

I think I may have to insist that Britplod wears his uniform to the meet up. And that he leaves Mrs Plod at home

Don't forget the truncheon.

Now I really have gone all unnecessary!!

Don't get too excited Cat. Community Support Officers aren't allowed truncheons.

I wonder if he's got a shiny helmet I wonder if Mr Cat will ever read this thread

Is Duke Mr Cat, Cat?

Tom Stephenson wrote:

It's ironic you should say that, Mr Plod. I belong to a (perfectly legal, smooth-bore) gun club, and one of our less savvy members tried to introduce a serving policeman into the club. I asked why there were so many (secret) objections, but in the light of what you say above, I'm beginning to understand! My reasoning was that it would be good to have a copper in the club - at least that way the force would come to understand the difference between legally held, sporting firearms, and the sort of 9 mm semi-auto pistol that anyone can procure for about £200 down the pub - including about 50 rounds - in around 24 hours.

Do you know Brian Perkins from Bristol? I hear he's not too good. A very nice man too.

P.S. It's just occurred to me - if you've been on the job for 16 years, how come you are still answerable to a sargeant? I reckon you're a Community Support officer with mental health problems.

I'm a great advocate of (legal) gun ownership be it smooth bore or rifled thats why whenever i go over to the states i make a point of spending at least a few days on the ranges with my favorite 9mm sig, as i know afew police officers over there they are more than happy to accomadate me in my interests . i do own a "look alike" Glock BB but somehow its just not the same when using it, in fact i have'nt touched it for about a year now, i do believe that the government should re-look at repealing the gun law and letting us have back our wepons, but thats another topic.

Have another look in the intro, "Part time copper" i've tried the supervisory bit but me and mountains of paperwork and policies dont get on to well, i like to do the job i signed up for and be out on the streets meeting my public PCSO, nah! respect for the job they do but not one i could do.

Never heard of Mr Perkins

TheCat wrote:

I wonder if he's got a shiny helmet I wonder if Mr Cat will ever read this thread

I have but have'nt worn it for ages, mines a flat cap with a white top

and if he does then hello Mr Cat