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 HOW FIGHTS START

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Dave Larkhall

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Posts : 840
Join date : 2009-09-02
Age : 76
Location : Larkhall Bath

PostSubject: HOW FIGHTS START   Thu Feb 18, 2010 9:36 pm

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked,
'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...
******************************************

My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we
were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And then the fight started....
******************************************
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Dave Larkhall

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Posts : 840
Join date : 2009-09-02
Age : 76
Location : Larkhall Bath

PostSubject: Re: HOW FIGHTS START   Thu Feb 18, 2010 9:40 pm

HERE'S A COUPLE MORE FIGHTS

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and
slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat to the van, and
proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph
, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that
the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed , and slipped back into
bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and
whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband
is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...
******************************************

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road
and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you
just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I
couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked
up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"

So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"

And then the fight started.....
*****************************************
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TheCat
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Location : Here

PostSubject: Re: HOW FIGHTS START   Thu Feb 18, 2010 9:48 pm

Hahahahaha

_________________
DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.
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The-duke66

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Join date : 2009-09-02
Age : 52
Location : Daydream land

PostSubject: Re: HOW FIGHTS START   Fri Feb 19, 2010 6:26 pm

lol!
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Dave Larkhall

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Posts : 840
Join date : 2009-09-02
Age : 76
Location : Larkhall Bath

PostSubject: Re: HOW FIGHTS START   Fri Feb 19, 2010 7:30 pm

WHO WANTS ANOTHER FIGHT?

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in
about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started...
******************************************

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's
License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my
wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to
go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing
my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof
enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too.'

And then the fight started...
******************************************
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