Ladybird book

Subject: Re: Ladybird book Mon Nov 16, 2009 10:52 am

By 'stiffener' could you be more specific Tom?

Posts : 67 Join date : 2009-11-03

Tom Stephenson wrote:: Yes. I am going to tell you my life story now, before Dave does, as I do not believe that he has my best interests at heart.

I was born in Surrey in 1950, and my parents had fled Berlin during the war, because they were fuc.. fuck... fucking... I'm sorry, this is very hard for me, as I have inherited the same affliction that they were both born with.

I tried to make the best of my education, but because I was a fuc... fucki... cun.... because I had this affliction, my schooling was very difficult, and I was eventually sent to a school for cun... cunn.... CUN... people with my parent's affliction, and this was hard for me also, because I found myself surrounded by absolute FUCKING... cun.... cun.... other children who had similar experiences to me.

Eventually, my fuc... fucki.... father pulled a few strings and I was sent to University, where I was shagg... shag... up the.... groomed for a post in the diplomatic service.

All went well until I attained a position in the office at Moscow, and - during a diplomatic dinner - I told the attache for foreign affairs that he smelt of sh... shch... you know what.

Since that time, I have lived in a monastery, where I have been given the duties of attending to the kitchen garden, and this has lasted for over 30 years, and our vow of silence has helped me with my fuc... fucki.... affliction.

However, about a year ago, I was assigned to help with the Brother's distillery business, and part of my duties involved tasting the product before it was released for you cu... cun.... people to drink. At this time, the Order also acquired a new computor, and I - being the youngest in the brotherhood - was assigned the task of controlling it. I am speaking to you from that computor now.

So, you fuck... fucking cun... a combination of alcohol, a computor and tourettes is what makes me what I am today, and I hope you fucking cun.... can find it in your hearts to forgive an old cun....CUN.... monk.

Brother Tom.

Have you got a brother down this way as i delt with a guy the other day where the only language he spoke ened with the "F" word and "C" word ? i'll take that the english language was'nt your strongest subject in school

Admin Posts : 1426 Join date : 2009-09-02 Location : Here

Dave Larkhall wrote:: Cat Cat Cat. Wot the fuck 'ave you done?

The Almighty Lord in whom we all believe!!!!!!!!

Tom I'm sorry I take it all back. You are a monk.

Britplod this is an official complaint. There's a mad dangerous cat loose.