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Dave Larkhall

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PostSubject: Re: Ladybird book   Mon Nov 16, 2009 10:52 am

By 'stiffener' could you be more specific Tom?
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Britplod



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PostSubject: Re: Ladybird book   Tue Nov 17, 2009 1:20 pm

Tom Stephenson wrote:
Yes. I am going to tell you my life story now, before Dave does, as I do not believe that he has my best interests at heart.

I was born in Surrey in 1950, and my parents had fled Berlin during the war, because they were fuc.. fuck... fucking... I'm sorry, this is very hard for me, as I have inherited the same affliction that they were both born with.

I tried to make the best of my education, but because I was a fuc... fucki... cun.... because I had this affliction, my schooling was very difficult, and I was eventually sent to a school for cun... cunn.... CUN... people with my parent's affliction, and this was hard for me also, because I found myself surrounded by absolute FUCKING... cun.... cun.... other children who had similar experiences to me.

Eventually, my fuc... fucki.... father pulled a few strings and I was sent to University, where I was shagg... shag... up the.... groomed for a post in the diplomatic service.

All went well until I attained a position in the office at Moscow, and - during a diplomatic dinner - I told the attache for foreign affairs that he smelt of sh... shch... you know what.

Since that time, I have lived in a monastery, where I have been given the duties of attending to the kitchen garden, and this has lasted for over 30 years, and our vow of silence has helped me with my fuc... fucki.... affliction.

However, about a year ago, I was assigned to help with the Brother's distillery business, and part of my duties involved tasting the product before it was released for you cu... cun.... people to drink. At this time, the Order also acquired a new computor, and I - being the youngest in the brotherhood - was assigned the task of controlling it. I am speaking to you from that computor now.

So, you fuck... fucking cun... a combination of alcohol, a computor and tourettes is what makes me what I am today, and I hope you fucking cun.... can find it in your hearts to forgive an old cun....CUN.... monk.

Brother Tom.

Have you got a brother down this way as i delt with a guy the other day where the only language he spoke ened with the "F" word and "C" word ? i'll take that the english language was'nt your strongest subject in school
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TheCat
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PostSubject: Re: Ladybird book   Tue Nov 17, 2009 4:54 pm

Dave Larkhall wrote:
Cat Cat Cat. Wot the fuck 'ave you done?

The Almighty Lord in whom we all believe!!!!!!!!

Tom I'm sorry I take it all back. You are a monk.

Britplod this is an official complaint. There's a mad dangerous cat loose.

Laughing


I've been waiting ages for someone to use that word hahahahahahahahahaha!

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DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.
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Amulet

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PostSubject: Re: Ladybird book   Tue Nov 17, 2009 5:46 pm

Which word, Jesus?
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Amulet

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PostSubject: Re: Ladybird book   Tue Nov 17, 2009 5:47 pm

Not that I'm calling anyone Jesus... Unless they are really called Jesus, of course!
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TheCat
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PostSubject: Re: Ladybird book   Tue Nov 17, 2009 5:49 pm

As mod, can you access the banned words list? If so have a look and you'll know what Dave is so upset about Laughing

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Amulet

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PostSubject: Re: Ladybird book   Tue Nov 17, 2009 6:13 pm

Don't seem to be able to find this... Sad
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frosty



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PostSubject: Re: Ladybird book   Tue Nov 17, 2009 6:15 pm

you been a mod long hamlet?
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Amulet

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PostSubject: Re: Ladybird book   Tue Nov 17, 2009 6:39 pm

not long, no - can you tell?!
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Tom Stephenson

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PostSubject: Re: Ladybird book   Tue Nov 17, 2009 8:53 pm

Bloody Hell - this trip to the plague-house in the High street is going to end up like the final scene from a Harry Potter film.
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Amulet

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PostSubject: Re: Ladybird book   Tue Nov 17, 2009 9:06 pm

Why do you say that? scratch
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Tom Stephenson

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PostSubject: Re: Ladybird book   Tue Nov 17, 2009 9:23 pm

Amulet wrote:
Why do you say that? scratch

ER... I don't know... where am I?
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Tom Stephenson

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PostSubject: Re: Ladybird book   Tue Nov 17, 2009 9:42 pm

oops again - wrong thread.
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